Do you have a she-cave?

I used to take pride in my house. I had my stuff displayed lovingly, like some kind of eclectic boho, Bowerbird. Trinkets of coloured glass, draped ethnic fabrics... man, I nick nacked the shit outta my crib.


Then... (insert that scratchy record-coming-to-a-halt sound.....)


Kid one. 
She had a bit of 'the fear' in the beginning. She knew precious when she saw it, she knew better than to mess with my shit. It seems with the creeping in of tweenage hormones comes the bravery that sees her dipping her toes in the I-was-just-borrowing-it pool.


Kid two.
Introducing Cael. It's no use putting your shit up high 'cause this kid will climb. If he can scratch it, shatter it, smear it or throw a raw egg at it, he will... twice.


Kid three.
Forget it. You no longer have stuff. What you do manage to salvage will no longer be dusted, shined & displayed. It will now remain in whatever position has secured it's safety. Maybe once in a while you might run a baby wipe over it if you have one in your hand at the time.


I want a cave. A she-cave if you will. Andy has a man-cave. It's gross. It's basically half of the garage and it's full of stuff he likes but I wont allow in the house eg a huge, cheaply framed print of an African Lion, titty posters and the occasional matchbox car that he's stolen from Cael's collection. He's a muso so admittedly he does have stuff that the kids can't mess with in there. Although, on more than one occasion, he has had to shake various treasure out of his acoustic guitars. 


None of this is the point. He has a cave and I want one.


I kind of consider our bedroom my domain. It is the one room that doesn't look like the Play School set and while the kids occasionally get into my precious jewels it remains relatively grown up looking and sort of stylish.


Why oh why then, does my husband think it is OK to do this to my bedhead....

Seriously? He has a cave. I even assist him with his cave. I printed out some pretty saucy pics of Sophia Vergara, wet in a gold bikini. "Here babe, I saw these and thought you might like them." ... that kind of help. I didn't go and put in a nice table and corner lamp. So why does he think he can encroach on my domain? Arsehat.


The offending scarf was quickly removed. I felt violated. I couldn't just leave the bedhead naked as it was before. I needed to compensate for the prior injustice of poor taste. So, as is my want, I went overboard.


This is it now.

Much better. 


I still want a cave.