What about that stick I found one time that looked like a dolphin?

So, day 3. I'm not even sure if you're s'posed to blog every day. I really am just fudging my way through. My plan is to run at this all guns blazing... until I get distracted, Homer style, by a dog with a puffy tail.
I've just realised that I've spent my entire blog, thus far, talking about my husband and kids. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm not that woman yet. Am I? Surely I have more to talk about than 'Blah blah blah my husband'... 'Blah blah blah my kids....' djsfsdhbsfvsbscvdsbhiv oops, sorry, I just fell asleep on the keyboard. 
BOOOORRRRINNNNG!
I have a life, I swear. Look, here's some pics of me out & about just this week...

*disclaimer. Fictional events, may not have actually occurred.

OK, so here we are. Post no. 3.
(Blog Rebel: You know, I'm really still not sure you're s'posed to blog every day. How can I find out? Is there some kind of blog timetable?
Rebel's brain: Look, I don't have all the answers. I am fairly certain though, that you should most definitely be eating some kind of cheese right now.)
What can I talk about? I took the kids to swimming lessons yesterday? No. ummmmm. What about that stick I found one time that looked like a dolphin? No, too controversial. 
(Blog Rebel: Maybe this could be the Seinfeld of blogs. The blog about nothing.
Rebel's brain: You may have frizzy hair lady, but you are no Elaine. Didn't you stash some chocolate around here somewhere?)

Look, I'm just gonna admit, this blog is going to be about my husband and kids. Quite frankly, they are the best thing about me. If I can get through the day without one of them (husband included) soiling my carpets, I'm kicking goals.

Just a heads up, you will hear about poo, you will hear about tantrums (mainly mine) and you just may get a giggle every now & then.
Welcome to my world, stay as long as you like. Just let me know how many of you there will be though, I might need to get more loo paper.

Battle Lines

Yesterday I introduced you to Andy, today you will meet Cael - Boss of the World.


Cael is nearly 3 although is often mistaken for a school aged child as he is tall. T.A.L.L. tall! He also has superpowers.... wait a minute.... before you leave this post shaking your head at this obvious exaggeration, he really does. I have included photographic evidence.

What you are seeing here is Cael unleashing his power on the evil Mummatron who dared to try and get him off the lounge and to the table for breakfast. "Come on mate, time for brekky"

POW! Arm flies out, spit flies "pppppsssssshhhwwwwwshhhh". 

This is an example of him using said power to make Mummatron disappear. If the evil forces were really strong eg telling him to go to bed... or wear pants, he would use both hands and increase the amount of spit, unleashing his super-superpowers. It's tough, but Mummatron's forces are great too so it's a constant battle.

Spending the day with Cael is much the same as I imagine spending the day with any toddler boy. It's sticky, smelly, exhausting but bloody hilarious.

Here is a little something I wrote a while ago about a standard morning with Cael.

Me: "Come on mate, get ready, we're going to the park."

Cael: "Noooooo, no park. Beach."

Assess - Doable. No battle.

Me: Making sandwiches at the bench "I'm just getting lunch ready then we'll go."

Cael: "Noooooo, sammich gukky. Guk." Goes to fridge and insists on taking a punnet of cherry tomatoes.

Assess - Wattevs, pack both anyway. No battle.

Cael: Clomps down hallway wearing Ruby's shoes. Insists on wearing them.

Assess - Passion vs practicality. Passion wins. No battle.

Cael: Butt naked with the exception of Ruby's shoes, drops to ground, squeals and refuses all other garments.

Assess - No deal mate. Swords drawn, CHARRRRGE!

Raised by strangers...

MY FIRST POST!

Wow, pretty daunting, particularly since the most interesting thing that has happened to me today was finding a missing sock in the toy box.

OK. I understand you only get to make a first impression once... so I'm gonna cheat... for the first few blogs at least. I'll breathe new life into some old tales that have given me a giggle in the past.

The following is an example of the kind of conversation I have with my husband daily.

I had hastily thrown my Joplinesque hair into my 'mum-bun'. A crazy kind of birds nest that perches precariously on the most northern reaches of my skull.

Andy looks over and says "You know, you look Japanese with your hair like that."

"Really?" I ask. "Me? Japanese?"

He ponders a moment before answering "Ok, well maybe not Japanese exactly. But it definitely looks as though, at some point, as a child, you were flying over Japan when your plane crashed leaving you the only survivor but you were then taken in by some villagers and raised as their own."

Of course. Obviously.